Dear Far-Away Specialist Clinic:
Thank you for your recent missive in which you express your appreciation for our months and months of prompt and steady payments. I can tell just by the way you type that it's heartfelt and sincere, though not as sincere as the next phrase, which indicates that our payments "do not meet the requirements of the [Redacted Far-Away Specialist Clinic] payment policy."
Frankly, I'm a little confused, since you set up the payments with me after I explained to you way back in June that my husband had been laid off. Seems to me that payments you set up should continue to satisfy your requirements. Guess not.
Your handwritten note (complete with highlighting for impact) explained that we should increase our monthly payments right away. We'll get right on that, because heaven knows you can't be without your $81.47. I would imagine that $81.47 is totally going to be the difference between keeping your lights on and shutting down completely.
You want your $81.47! I get it!
Luckily, just this week, my husband got a new job after eight long months of unemployment. I can only imagine the reaction this letter might have prompted in me last week. This week I can tell you without being a total itch-bay that we liquidated a retirement account a couple of weeks ago to pay off medical bills just like yours. So your check is in the mail.
I trust that you won't spend my $81.47 in one place.
Also, I invite you to suck it.
Yours sincerely,
Nicole
