Alice over at Finslippy is one of my favorite bloggers. She doesn't post with the sort of anal regularity of some, but when she does, it is quality. Today's entry is apparently from the archives, and it is the sort of thing that makes one spit milk out of one's nose or laugh at an inappropriate volume at the free wi-fi cafe. A sampling from the entry, which is written in the style of a contract for prospective parents:
V. SLEEP
1. Is when I say, where I say, and how I say. If I want to sleep UPSIDE DOWN with my legs locked around your neck, then that’s how it will be.
a. And you will enjoy it.
VI. AFFECTION
1. Occasionally I enjoy being hugged and kissed. I stress OCCASIONALLY.
2. I will not be pelted with wet-mouthed assaults on an hourly basis. Should you feel the need to HUG or KISS, you must provide me with a written request, and then wait for me to offer you my pudgy cheeks.
As always with Finslippy, the sentiment is so close to my own experiences that I could have written it. Except that I couldn't have, at least not half so well.