My friend Chris, in addition to having known me since I was 4, is the unofficial historian of our high school and Montana Youth Choir choral music experiences. Every once in a while a little surprise package arrives for me in the mail from Chris. Most recently, he sent two CDs with digital versions of our high school Delphian Choir recordings. Before that he sent a DVD with our farewell Youth Choir concert. The quality on these DVDs--converted straight from whatever amateur cinematographer/proud parent shot them--is not anything great, but they have an amazing power over me.
First there's the weirdness of seeing and hearing your 16 or 17-year-old self in glorious technicolor (especially in the beauty of the lilac dresses). Then there's the actual physical feeling I get when I hear certain passages. When I was listening to the Delphian CDs last week I felt myself tensing up at a certain part. I then realized it was right before a solo I had done a thousand times that year and was recorded for posterity. I heard one song and immediately thought about a time we had performed it in the hallway of Missoula Hellgate High School. It still gave me chills. As the camera pans over the group on the MYC DVD, I see people I still keep in touch with--and people whose names I can't even remember.
Some of my absolute best memories in my life have been while I was singing. I miss it. I just don't think I realized how much until Chris started sending me surprise packages.