For the first time in years, we're actually seeing a lot of trick or treaters at the house. Connery and Chip are out doing their own t-or-ting, so I can reflect on the kids coming to my door. The common thread? Warm costumes. No matter what kids want to be for Halloween, in Montana it all comes down to the Eskimo. (It's a bit like all the costumes at Torrid, actually. You can be anything you want, so long as it can be described by the adjective "slutty".)
I just sent Connery out as the Eskimo Pirate, which even I have to admit is just as unlikely a hybrid as a whale-bunny. (He also informed me that he had already been made aware of the evergreen "Trick or Treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!" I can't believe these things still make the rounds. Any day now he's going to come home and recount "Bloody Fingers" to me.) Anyway, here's the layering sequence:
sweatpants (University of Montana, naturally)
long-sleeved t-shirt
sweatshirt
windbreaker
snowpants
pirate costume
I'll post the pictures later, but really he looks more like the gone-to-seed-Elvis pirate than an Eskimo pirate, I guess. Most of the kids coming to the door are similarly attired.
My other, not-so-original sentiment is that kids over a certain age really should not go trick-or-treating. I have seen approximately three five cute children under the age of 14 and 25-30 obnoxious teenagers who paw at the candy bowl like Yogi Bear at a pic-i-nic basket.
"How many can I take?" one of the greedy teens asked me. Then word got out that we, as a household, were not giving out raisins or pencils or toothbrushes but honest-to-God chocolate, and we started having repeat business. Now, I'm not opposed to giving these teenagers one round, but I'll be damned if they're going to get two. Especially when they try to pretend that they haven't been to my house before. Um, Junior? How many white rappers do you think come to my door every day? Not many. I'm going remember you and your sidekick, Foxy White-o-patra.
Clearly, I am far too old to even be associated with Halloween.