Keep in mind that I grew up reading the letters on offer in the Great Falls Tribune. I know kooky. This letter, from a citizen of--say it isn't so--my fair city of Livingston, has to be the absolute nadir. Since it's short, and I can't link to articles in the Chronicle, I'll reproduce it in full (with headline!) for your weeping pleasure:
Do will of God
Jon Tester is in favor of a woman’s right to kill life in her womb. That is just as bad as King Herod in the days of Joseph and Mary, who had the first-born put to death.
If Jesus was here today, Jon Tester would have him murdered. It is important to do the will of God and vote for Conrad Burns.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we're up against. Reasoning, logic, intellectual discussion--it just isn't going to happen with a guy like this. Not today, not ever. Even ignoring the semi-dangling modifier that makes it sounds like Mary and Joseph were putting babies to death, the letter marks a new low: Jon Tester wants to kill Jesus.
Please, tell me that this is some kind of Borat-style satire. Tell me that this guy didn't just say that Conrad Burns' re-election is the will of God. Tell me that there aren't people reading this over their coffee and danish and nodding thoughtfully as if to say, "You know? I hadn't thought about Tester wanting to kill Jesus. I'm glad this guy told me."