Manhattan (Montana's) own Mr. Pot Porn and Perversion is back in the Chronicle this morning with a humdinger of a letter suggesting that Governor Brian Schweitzer be grand marshal of the next Gay Pride parade in San Francisco. In a thinly veiled piece of hate speech against gays and lesbians, he claims that Schweitzer's decision to disband the Governor's Council on Families (some two years ago, I might point out) was based on its failure to include gay and lesbian issues on its agenda.
At the time,
Schweitzer said his decision not to reauthorize the Governor's Council on Families - one of 50 committees in the Department of Public Health and Human Services involving more than 1,000 people - is part of his pledge to make state government more efficient. "We want families to have a better quality of life, but not by spending state and federal money for people to sit on councils," said Schweitzer.
Sounds reasonable. Of course, I am not privy to the secret homosexual subtext in the statement like Mr. Triple-P seems to be.
Recently, Schweitzer created a new family council, the Governor's Council on Economic Security for Montana Families:
The new council takes the place of several existing councils in a continuing effort to promote efficiency and effectiveness in state government. Members will seek advice from Montanans on strategies to improve Montana families' long-term economic situation and enable them to become self-sufficient.
Mr. Triple-P claims that the dissolution of the first family council resulted in an "exodus of abused, neglected and abandoned runaway Montana youth, many who [sic] are desperately broke, hungry and easily preyed upon." That would be tragic if it were true, but it strikes me as unlikely that a committee in the Department of Health and Human Services was the key factor in preventing that beforehand. Frankly, I don't remember referring too many needy, desperate people to the Governor's Council on Families. One wonders, in fact, what such a committee would have done if one of these Montana youth showed up for help at a committee meeting. (Uh, Fred? Did you put a desperately broke, hungry and easily preyed upon teen on the agenda under new business? We'll need a quorum to deal with that.)
The letter builds to a crescendo with a great O'Reillian set of rhetorical questions:
...pimps (oooh! fourth P!) and perverts are indeed benefactors of his decision... Schweitzer's decision begs the questions: Why does he campaign for money in San Francisco, headquarters for (you guessed it!) pot, porn and perversion? Are ill-gotten gains funding his campaign? What does Schweitzer have against families?
Mr. Quad-P? You forgot one: Why does Brian Schweitzer hate America and want the terrorists to win? He then goes on to describe in no small measure of detail just how Schweitzer would look on the parade float. One wonders if the idea of the governor in leather fetish wear is appalling to him or strangely tantalizing.
So why am I pissed? I mean, beyond the fact that people like this feel it necessary to try to take down a government official for nothing more than the horror of having gone to a city where homosexuals live? (News Flash, I.P. Freely: They live in Manhattan, too!) I'm pissed because this guy had his first ridiculous letter printed on June 12th! That's barely a month ago! Meanwhile, I send in an entirely benign--and if I might say so, mildly amusing--letter about the state of the Chronicle comics and it never sees the light of day. Must I go all whack job to get a letter on the opinion page?
Perhaps if I were to include something about how Jon and Garfield are secretly promoting homosexual bestiality (Liz is just a ruse! It's Garfield he loves!) I might have more luck. I'll start thinking of more Ps.