My home office is not exactly an oasis of calm and productivity. More like that place where the whole family dumps the shit they don't know where else to put. Last summer I did the typical rookie organizer thing and went out and bought new file boxes and shelves and other Get Organized Now! porn, and there they sit, even now, on the floor of my office, mocking my sad attempts:
See, even the Inflatable Scream Doll is embarrassed at my lack of progress. And yes, that is a plastic pirate ship. Why do you ask?
The new file boxes do not hold, as I had planned, meticulously filed copies of my published work or even household finance records. No, those are all over my floor, because otherwise the floor would have no decoration at all, and then where would we be?
The boxes' other purpose is to save nails and--undoubtedly--the eventual necessary spackle that would result from actually, you know, hanging the lovely Monte Dolack print of Main Hall. We can't be putting nail holes in the wall of a house we own.
There's the wider view, including what appears to be a desk owned by the sanest person in the world--if the old saw about clean desk being the product of a sick mind holds any water at all. (Don't you believe it!) If you look closely, you may be able to steal my identity by going through the collected bills alongside. Could you steal possession of my student loans while you're at it?
The closet also mocks me:
Look at all that empty space! I can hear you saying. Well, yes. Because that's where the shelves to hold the files boxes are to go. The shelves that are currently upside down in the garage. Oh, and more art! Because art doesn't belong on the wall--it's really more of a floor thing.
Note that Gorby (top shelf, far left) has fainted from the sheer terror of the place. (Note also the original, circa 1979 Dancerella doll with box! I'll be taking bids in the comments. Don't let me down.)
The big question is what I'm going to do about this space. I spend so much time in here during the week that I would really like to shut the door on Friday afternoon and not come back in until Monday, which makes working on it somewhat daunting. Regardless of the daunt, however, I'm trying to psych myself up to beginning the process. I figured some public humiliation couldn't hurt.
Anybody want to come rescue me from my office?