Nothing.
And it was glorious.
OK, so not entirely nothing. We did drive a couple hundred miles to reach my parents' cabin in Condon, and then another hundred miles (or what felt like it on the requisite dusty, bumpy, gravelly roads) to Ashley Lake to spend a few days at the Ritter family reunion. Highlights included near-daily naps, good company, and lots of Scrabble. We did, however, learn something, just as if our vacation had been some kind of extended sitcom. Below please find our many lessons:
- Vacationing with a child is never quite as relaxing as you think it's going to be. Relaxation, in truth, requires days off for Mom and Dad while child remains in preschool. But that's hard to do when you actually leave the area.
- Montana sure is purdy, even when half the state is going up in flames.
- Nine times out of ten, my mom will still beat me in Scrabble. But the practice of playing against her means that at least nine and a half times out of ten, I will beat anyone who is not my mom.
- Marshmallows roasted over a propane grill? Not quite as exciting but infinitely safer than campfire-toasted.
- I will never drown, as I am my own personal flotation device.
- How Harry Potter ends, without spoilers. (And I'm not telling!)
- "Sleeps eight comfortably" is only useful information if the term "comfortably" is defined. For example, "Sleeps eight comfortably if you are in college and routinely pass out on friends' couches" or "Sleeps eight comfortably if you don't actually like sleeping with your husband" or "Sleeps eight comfortably if you can also fall asleep in airport terminals and other crowded venues" would all be vast improvement on that vague first sentiment and a darn sight more honest.
- Most people can't be trusted around orange food.
- Jennifer Weiner has serious male abandonment and sister issues that she should probably work through outside her fiction, but that doesn't stop her writing from being entertaining and enjoyable.
- The only clothes you really, really need to pack when you're going camping/cabin-ing are clean underwear for each day. Even so, I managed to forget mine at home. Thank god for Kalispell.
- People in laundromats (see above underwear lesson) tend to be rude the world over.
- I know I already said it, but Montana really is magnificent. Which makes this early, scary fire season all the worse. Say a little prayer or send us some good thoughts. Maybe pray for rain. Hell, I'd take snow.