Connery first went to daycare when he was 13 months old. During his first year of life, in Prague, I had some generous maternity leave and then we had the services of a wonderful part-time nanny whom Connery adored. Separation anxiety? What's that?
The first day I brought him to the daycare center, I fretted that he would cry and I would be rooted there to the spot, unable to leave my sobbing baby who couldn't even totally walk on his own. Imagine my surprise when he gave me a little wave and then settled in to play with the fascinating new toys. I had way more trauma from that parting than he did. That trend continued as he got older, to the point that he would at certain times shoo me out of the childcare center so that he could get down to business. "It's time for you to go, Mommy," he would say.
There were times that I even worried he was perhaps too independent. Had we failed to bond during those critical early days? Was my refusal to carry him in a sling 24/7 and breastfeed him every 20 minutes at the root of his ease of parting? My mom worked very hard to convince me that his nonchalance was not a sign of the parenting apocalypse but instead a sure marker that Chip and I had managed to create a child so secure in his place and in our love that temporary separations were of no consequence. That sounded pretty good to me, so I went with it.
So how to explain his sudden change of heart? For the past four days, I have left a sodden, grasping, tearful child that I barely recognize at his new preschool. Nothing we or the teachers have done seems to help. We've left notes and pictures for him to find, spent time with his teacher, and talked it through until we're blue in the face. And yet he sobs. Which of course makes me want to get in my car and sob after I've dropped him off.
I'm sure it's related to the transition to the new school, but I'm at a loss as to how to remedy that. Time, I suppose. I know I shouldn't expect consistency and logic from a four-year-old, but the inconsistency factor is enough to give me whiplash sometimes.