I haven't been able to listen to much news since John McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his running mate. You see, the screaming frightens the children. The latest--but by no means even the most egregious--report to cause me to shove my whole fist in my mouth in an attempt to quiet the shrieks was perpetrated by NPR this morning. Report Tovia Smith chose to lead her piece, "Palin's Nomination Fuels Debate Among Working Moms" with something like "when Sarah Palin was picked to be the vice presidential nominee, women fell squarely into two camps, 'You go, girl!' and 'How could you?!?'"
Even ignoring the irritating 1990s throwback faux-girl-power schtick, the opening conceit is already galling. Maybe there is some subset of women out there who did divide among those lines, but I would guess an even greater number of us Vagina-Americans went with, "You've got to be kidding."
My problems with Sarah Palin have, if you'll pardon me, fuck-all to do with her being the mother of five. They have everything to do with her disastrous environmental policies, her opposition to extending the right to choose beyond her own family's circumstances, and her demonstrated lack of sound judgment on everything from banning books to foreign affairs. For cripes' sake, the woman didn't even have a passport until a year ago! How she chooses to divide her domestic responsibilities is a non-issue.
The media got an early Christmas gift in the Palin nomination, giving them the chance to trot out aged story lines--like the so-called "Mommy Wars"--that always whip up controversy, even if it's...well...whipped up. The Mommy Wars--which purport to pit stay-at-home-moms against working moms in a cage match to the judgmental, bitter end--are just another way to make sure that women spend enough time sniping at each other to prevent any real progress on the things that matter. And I think their time is about done.
I don't care whether my neighbor chooses to stay home with her kids until they're 18, enthusiastically runs back to work at six weeks post-partum or--like most of us--does something in between. I do care that there are so few options for mothers and so many sacrifices that we have to make, whatever we choose. Stay home with our kids and we're leveraging our future financial well-being. Go back to work and we're--in the words employed for maximum shaming and judging--letting someone else raise our children. And that's ignoring the vast chunk of mothers who don't get to make the choice at all because either they can't support their families without working or they can't get sufficient flexibility in the workplace to be able to stay employed and still parent effectively.
We need to move the narrative beyond the divisive yet media-friendly Mommy Wars, something that organizations like Moms Rising are trying to do. In fact, Moms Rising has an open letter to Sarah Palin that you can sign, asking how she plans to support her mothers. That is relevant to me. Her working or not working? Breastfeeding or formula? Number of children? Not relevant.
Media? Take note.