Me, looking up from the kitchen table: "I've planned our grocery list so that we should be able to make it to payday without having to go to the store again."
Chip, regarding the listed meals, with an unusual enthusiasm: "You've got meals for us all the way through election night!"
Me, quizzically: "I guess."
Chip, in explanation mode: "You see, we'll be ready until then. And on election night, we'll either be going out to celebrate or committing ritual suicide. Either way, well have enough groceries."
*Hard to say if we qualify as "Real Americans." On the one hand, we clearly live in a Real American State, where people hunt and drive pick-up trucks. On the other hand, we do neither of those things. And we use words like "neither".