To say that Chip and I are not really the co-sleeping types would be something akin to saying that George W. Bush isn't really into book larnin'. Not only have we been resolute and unswerving in our belief that the family bed is not for us, we have also discouraged others from the practice. Connery slept in his crib in his own room from the night be came home from the hospital and did great. I always got up and went to the nursery to breastfeed, never nursing in bed (mainly because of anatomy but also because I never wanted to be an all-night cruise buffet) and the presence of children in our bed has been strictly limited to morning cuddles.
I even confess that I have secretly judged people with "accidental" family beds (those who set out to co-sleep were different, perhaps a little insane in my view, but different in that there was a purpose and belief behind having their kids in bed with them). Couldn't these people see that sharing a bed with your kids is the quickest road to marital problems? Sleep problems? Clingy kid problems?
Ha. Also ha ha ha. And did I mention HAHAHAHAHA?
I have probably already indicated in this space that I have a theory about God. Similar to one of my uncle's contentions that "there is a God and you're not it", my maxim is a sort of a "good news/bad news" setup. The good news is that there is a God, but the bad news is that he's a white, male Republican with a bad sense of humor. He's proven it many times, and now he's really gone in for the ultimate punch line, because we have a baby who is so opposed to independent sleep that she will cry non-stop until she is returned, literally, to my loving arms.
Except that, at 3:30 a.m., they don't feel very loving anymore. Mainly they feel tired and cranky and ultra-aware that they haven't had a decent night's sleep since, oh, March 2007.
This is the part of the post where I realized that I've already bitched about this (but not about co-sleeping, so it's fresh, right? right?). Sorry. It's just that when it comes to describing my life at the moment, all that comes to mind is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Or the lack thereof.