Dear Republican senators Charles E. Grassley, Orrin Hatch, Richard Shelby and your 52 other colleagues in the Senate and House of Representatives who steadfastly and on principal oppose a public option, despite being on Medicare:
Must be nice.
Not only do you have access to what has to be considered the Rolls Royce of Cadillac health plans, you are also eligible for and take advantage of America's original public option, Medicare. In fact, according to New York Representative Anthony Weiner, a total of 150 of you lawmakers in Washington "currently receive government-funded, government-administered single-payer health care", also known as Medicare.
But you know what? I don't have a beef with the other 95 of your colleagues. It's you 55 I'm interested in.
That's because you're doing your level best to deny me access to anything resembling the health care that you enjoy on my dime. I'm not asking for your Rolls Royce plan--although it must be suh-weet!, especially when it's coupled with the Office of the Attending Physician, which provides you with round-the-clock access to America's best healthcare for just $503 per year. (No, really! "Members of Congress do not pay for the individual services they receive at the OAP, nor do they submit claims through their federal employee health insurance policies. Instead, members pay a flat, annual fee of $503 for all the care they receive. The rest of the cost of their care, sources said, is subsidized by taxpayers," ABC News helpfully explains.)
Wow, $503. That would get me a ton of healthcare out here on the open market using the wisdom of the invisible hand. That would be, um, five routine visits to the doctor! Or five months' worth of one of the three prescriptions Connery needs to keep his asthma at bay! Or three-quarters of the $750 a month that his asthma specialist's first-choice medicine would have cost us if we could have afforded it. Or two visits to that specialist! Gee, for $503, I could just about not cover my family at all. I guess I could use that $503 to pay for COBRA coverage to continue the crappy-ass High Deductible HSA that Chip and I are grateful to have. Or to pay off Connery's hospital stay from February 2008 that we're still making payments on. The mind boggles!
But I digress. What I was going to say was that I understand that giving everybody your Rolls Royce insurance would probably bankrupt the country, so I'm not asking for that, as lovely as it would be. No, all I would like is to be able to buy in to the public option that you're exercising--you know, to get Medicare, even though I'm only 36 years old. It's not perfect, but don't think I didn't notice that the only people not paying $24.99 at Livingston's Most Contentious Flu Shot Clinic (another story entirely) were the senior citizens covered by Medicare.
If not, I understand. I mean, you're busy people, what with all the glad-handing and fundraising and back-slapping and progress-blocking and such. But I would ask that you consider giving up your public option--it is, after all, the only ideologically consistent step. And, since taxpayers are paying for 75 percent of that Rolls Royce plan, you should probably give that up as well. Same with your access to the Magical $503-Per-Year Clinic, for which we taxpayers are also footing the bill--or which could be running up that awful deficit that was not a concern on November 3, 2008 but became a TOTAL CRISIS!!! on November 4, 2008.
Stripped of those perks, you could join the rest of us in the open market and try your hand at some non-group private coverage. I wonder how many of you would actually be eligible? Hard to believe that there aren't a few of you living with diabetes or heart disease or cancer or some other chronic illness that renders normal mortals uninsurable--or that none of you has a BMI over 30 or high blood pressure or, you know, a vagina (I'm looking at you, Rep. Judy Biggert, Rep. Sue Myrick, Rep. Kay Granger, Rep. Virginia Foxx, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite!). After all, there are 133 million Americans living with such "pre-existing conditions" and many more if you count those of us who have vaginas. Have fun trying to convince someone to insure you. We all do!
Ideological purity seems to be a "thing" with many of you. I would urge you to stand firm with yourself and remedy this glaring oversight. To help you along, I've included all your names below, just as a reminder to you and your constituents. I'm sure the people that you represent would be happy to help you remember.
Yours sincerely,
Nicole
Edited to add: This post was named BlogHer of the Week on November 9, 2009.
The Hall of Shame: Congress members who oppose the public option but take Medicare
Rep. Ralph M. HallRep. Roscoe G. Bartlett
Rep. Sam Johnson
Rep. C.W. Bill Young
Rep. Howard Coble
Sen. Jim Bunning
Sen. Richard G. Lugar
Rep. Don Young
Sen. Charles E. Grassley
Sen. Robert F. Bennett
Rep. Vernon J. Ehlers
Sen. Orrin G. Hatch
Sen. Richard C. Shelby
Rep. Jerry Lewis
Sen. James M. Inhofe
Rep. Ron Paul
Rep. Henry E. Brown
Sen. Pat Roberts
Sen. George V. Voinovich
Sen. John McCain
Rep. Judy Biggert
Sen. Thad Cochran
Rep. Harold Rogers
Rep. Dan Burton
Rep. Howard P. "Buck" McKeon
Rep. Frank R. Wolf
Rep. Michael N. Castle
Rep. Joe Pitts
Rep. Tom Petri
Sen. Lamar Alexander
Rep. Doc Hastings
Rep. Cliff Stearns
Rep. Sue Myrick
Rep. John Carter
Sen. Mitch McConnell
Sen. Jon Kyl
Rep. Phil Gingrey
Rep. Nathan Deal
Rep. John Linder
Rep. Kay Granger
Rep. John L. Mica
Rep. Walter B. Jones
Sen. Jim Risch
Rep. Ed Whitfield
Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner
Rep. Virginia Foxx
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison
Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite
Sen. Saxby Chambliss
Sen. Michael B. Enzi
Rep. Elton Gallegly
Rep. Donald Manzullo
Rep. Peter T. King
Rep. Ander Crenshaw