Livingston, I Presume

Memo from the 3 percent

I have no horse in the AT&T versus Verizon network map smackdown. That's because I know the horrible truth of the U.S. cell network system, which is that they both suck. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that there is no carrier in this great land that doesn't. It's a matter of degrees, really. Some suck harder than others. You can thank the free market for that. Turns out that when it comes to infrastructure, sometimes governments really have a knack for making things work together.

That said, I'm getting a little tired of AT&T's claims that they serve 97 percent of all Americans--and particularly of the tone in which those claims are made. I read those ads as AT&T's way of saying, "Hey, we cover all the Americans who are living anyplace that makes a damn bit of sense. If you want to live in Montana or Maine or northern California above the Bay Area, that's your problem." As a member of the 3 percent, I'd like to remind them that occasionally people who would make good customers also live in places that are not big cities.

AT&T's crappy network in the rural-er parts of the United States makes it impossible for most Montanans to have iPhones, which is a source of frustration for many of the tech-savvy who happen to live in these places (like some who live with me, for example). That's why we have Verizon, whose network works better in places such as Montana but who also have these inexplicable black holes--like Chip's parent's house in California--that make true satisfaction very difficult. Like I said, it's a matter of degrees.

Apparently there is no app--or map--for that when you live in a country that is allergic to regulation.

Since I'm posting depressing things

I might as well add this deeply upsetting analysis by Ian Welsh on Crooks and Liars. I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but stories like this--which bring together all kinds of trends and show how they fit together in a neat, dismaying package--make me lean that way. Observe:

The news in the last few days has continued the drumbeat of demoralizing events which started in the Bush administration, and with only a few hiccups has continued through the Obama administration. It is clear that Obama is, fundamentally, Bush's 3rd term.

First we have the health care "reform" debacle, where it has been confirmed that the White House pushed Harry Reid to accept Lieberman's ultimatum, not go to reconciliation. There will be no public option in the Senate bill. There will be no Medicare expansion. There will be no cap on yearly limits. What there will be is a mandate forcing people to buy insurance, some subsidies which can still leave people spending money they can't afford, and guaranteed issue of lousy plans (Plans where only 70% of the premiums have to be spent on care, for example.) 

After further explication, he draws the conclusion that the very same people who are willing to spend exactly nothing on healthcare are totally willing--and have been for YEARS--to spend limitless sums waging war:

It is also noteworthy that spending billions on turning brown people into a fine red mist (a.k.a. the Afghan war) is acceptable, but health care (a.k.a. saving actual American lives) is something which can't cost money. What an interesting--and clearly evil--set of priorities that reveals. I guarantee that real healthcare reform would save more American lives than the entire war on terror—assuming said "war" hasn't cost more American lives than it's saved, which is almost certainly the case.

Welsh then brings in the continuation of Guantanamo, followed by the actions of the banking sector, which includes "bankers...giving themselves bonuses larger than the entire economy's GDP growth this year," or $140 billion in bonus pay. He quotes economist Peter Morici:

How much is $140 billion?

The U.S. economy grew at a $89 billion annualized rate in the third quarter. That was the first growth since the second quarter of 2008 and came to $22 billion in actual growth in the third quarter.

The bankers, after causing the greatest economic calamity since the Great Depression, are rewarded with six times the growth accomplished so far in the much heralded "economic recovery."

Meanwhile, seven million families face foreclosure and 25 million Americans can't find full time work.

Yeah, that. I wouldn't know anything about Americans who can't find full time work.

Honestly, I know I must be sounding like a broken record these past few days, but I just cannot get out of my head the spectacle of Lieberman and our other elected "leaders" gathering together day after day to make sure that the those of us who do not control the wealth of this country are systematically shut out of the system. (For a little tragicomic relief, check out this Onion article: Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Healthcare. LOLsob example: "When you get into the nuts and bolts of how best not to provide people with care essential to their survival, there are many things to take into consideration," Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said. "I believe we can create a plan for Americans that allows them to not be able to go to the hospital, not get the treatment they need, and ultimately wither away and die. But we've got to act fast.")

As Welsh says:

Americans exist to be looted systematically by their elites, and if they die young and live sick, who cares? They are just sacks of money and the goal of government is to make dipping your hand into that sack as easy as possible for industries which can afford to buy government.

God, I don't want to believe that. But I'm starting to.

(H/T Space Cowboy at Shakesville.)

Cheap is the new black

If I come across one more first-person account describing how the recession has helped someone “discover” that coupons are not only for cranky elderly ladies, I’m going to have to gouge out my eyes. Probably with my couponing scissors.

Come to think of it, I’d like to declare a moratorium on all articles extolling the “new” virtue of thrifty living, as if it was invented in late 2008 by people who think brown-bagging it once a week instead of going out to lunch counts as cutting back.

I guess the problem with all these articles for me is that they assume that until the Great Recession showed up, we Americans were spending money like it was water coming out of a super-deluxe rainforest showerhead. And maybe some of us were. But for most of the middle class families I know here in Montana, the current downturn is just the latest leak in an economic boat that we’ve been trying desperately to keep afloat for a long time. We were already brewing our coffee at home and shopping with coupons and bringing our lunches—and that was before a job loss or unexpected medical bills or a dying car blew a gigantic hole in our budgets.

These stories are just like the ones that will start blanketing the media right around the first of January, reminding us that losing weight is as easy as giving up soda and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. For those of us who don’t drink soda and always walk the stairs, it doesn’t help much. And for those of us who already did Cheap as a way of life, “new frugal” is of little help.

I also don’t appreciate the element of condescension that comes along with these stories—and the inevitable Madison Avenue ads that have started to accompany them. You know the tone, the “Oh, I just love how the economic meltdown is bringing our family together by forcing us to scrap our vacation plans to the Caribbean (this year) so that we can have a ‘staycation’!” As if there weren’t plenty of Americans who don’t get to holiday in the Caribbean—or anywhere else—at any time thanks to two decades of stagnant real wages and no guaranteed vacation time.

Reduced living standards don’t—in most cases—result in more family harmony, no matter how many ways the national discount retailers try to romanticize frozen pizza and board games. (See yesterday's post on Smurfit-Stone.) Tension about paying the bills mounts, spilling over into the lives of kids who don’t yet understand the value of a dollar, much less what it takes to run a household. Fear and anxiety keep people up at night, robbing them of sleep and peace of mind. Families are forced to live apart when one parent has to take a job far away and the house just won’t sell.

There’s a lot of talk out there about perceived threats to the traditional family. But as I see it, the traditional family—which I would define as people who love each other and want to live together in relative security and peace—is already under siege, and not by famous golfers who have extramarital affairs or gays and lesbians who want to marry. No, economic and social crises are at the root of the problem, and unfortunately, coupons and thrift can’t fix that. If I figure out what can, I’ll be sure to let you know.

(A version of this was published in yesterday's Business to Business.)

Heart of stone

It takes very little effort on my part to conjure up the entire range of emotions--complete with sickening stomach drop--that I felt the day that Chip was laid off. The harder part, in truth, is not feeling that same queasiness multiple times a day. Months on, it's not that much easier.

That's why I was, like Matt Singer, infuriated to see that executives from Smurfit-Stone Container Corp. have been approved to take some $47 million in bonuses this year, even as they made the decision to close two mills, one of them in Missoula. Four-hundred-seventeen people who had good, high-paying jobs will be out of work in Missoula, as of December 31st. The average annual salary was about $70,000, according to the Missoulian article. 

I realize that $47 million wouldn't--couldn't--have saved the plants for more than a year or so. And of course the company has to think about future profitability so that more people aren't thrown out of work. But it still gravels my ass to think about highers-up getting richer--how much do you suppose their stock rose today after they announced those layoffs?--for ruining people's lives. Because, make no mistake, lives will be ruined in Missoula. I'm not just being dramatic. Jobs that pay well in Missoula are few and far between, and I would guess that very few of those 417 people will find anything close to a $70,000-per-year wage. Shit, in Missoula they'll be lucky to get half that.

Not to mention that finding a job--any goddamn job--right now? Sucks. Balls. And that means a lot of families will have to leave the area. Kids will have to leave their schools. Homes will have to be sold or will be foreclosed on. Parents may have to split the family to make ends meet. Family values. Yeah, right.

Maybe with the $47 million those executives could buy some humanity. Unfortunately, I don't think you can get that at Wal*Mart.

That's entertainment

While I'm not really the free-spending type when it comes to toys for the kids, it was nonetheless enlightening--and potentially present-altering--to see just how entertained the two of them could be with nothing more than a couple of measuring cups and a container of flour.

 

Note to self: 5-lb. bags of Wheat Montana flour all around this Christmas morning.

 

Perhaps a ladle thrown in for good measure.

 

Don't worry. I won't take back all the toys.

Team Kevin

I am not a reality show person. I left the United States the year that Survivor arrived, and I've always thought that was pretty fitting. I've never seen Amazing Race or Big Brother or American Idol, although I confess to watching some Adam Lambert on YouTube. (Seriously, folks, if you haven't seen him sing "Ring of Fire", you're missing out. Go watch it. Now. I'll wait.) Anyway, barring the Lambert YouTube moments, there has never been a reality show I could get into, mainly because they just seem so mean-spirited, like they're all run by a cabal of the most popular kids in elementary school.

You've got your Biggest Loser, where fat people are abused and belittled. Frankly, I don't want to watch a show that reminds me of 10 years of gym class. I don't want to do anything that reminds me of gym class. I've spent years trying to get over those. You've got your Real Housewives, which I can feel sucking IQ points from my head when I watch even a commercial for it. You've got your So You Think You Can Dance, which seems to turn out OK by the last parts but seems to delight in making fun of bad dancers for weeks at first.

And then there's Dancing With the Stars, which many people whose judgment I respect watch and enjoy but which also flagrantly broke the 11th Commandment. You know, the one that says, "Thou shalt not allow a deeply creepy and demonstrably corrupt former politician to don tight red polyester garments and samba with a woman half his age. It is an abomination."

Which brings me to the one reality show that has, for whatever reason, grabbed hold of me. I'm speaking of Top Chef, which will have its season six finale tonight. And I am totally rooting for Kevin. I could stand it if Voltaggio brother B won it, but if brother M wins, I'm going to have to stage a revolt. Especially if he wins after making some other snide comment about how Kevin's food is what he makes on his day off.

If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that the judges on Top Chef are probably just as mean as the ones on any of the other shows, but somehow it doesn't have that same whiff of junior high about it. Maybe because we all know that junior high kids would never be talking about Escargot, Mache, and Fried Tomato without sticking their finger down their throat and making gagging noises. I know this because I once ate escargot, in high school, and it ended with a lot of retching. From me. Furthermore, there seems to be a uniformly high standard for contestants--meaning that you almost never have the "let's laugh at the wretched guy" that seems such a staple on other shows. 

I won't be able to watch the finale live tonight (because it airs at midnight in my time zone, and though I'm a fan, I'm not insane) so please no spoilers until I've managed to tune in to my DVR'd copy tomorrow. If you're watching tonight, enjoy. With those three in the finale, it's got to be good. Now, Go Team Kevin!

Well, I guess we can tell how that experiment ended. I hope to be back later this week with some actual new posts.